It stood on all fours. Its rear legs were elongated, its powerful haunches spreading backwards. It whirled to face her, spittle flying from its mouth, as it revealed its jagged teeth in a snarl.It stood up onto two legs quickly, taking a menacing lurch towards her. Its arms, ending in massive hands with terrifying claws, stretched out at her.Audrey screamed, turning and running back down the hallway, desperate to get back to her bedroom, hoping she could get behind the safety of the door in time. The manbeast leapt at her, easily clearing the back of the couch and loping after her.She reached her room and turned, frantically trying to close the door behind her. But the beast was already there, shoving the thin wood open effortlessly and crashing into her. Its clawed hands grasped at her waist, their momentum sending them careening to the floor. The creature was on top of her, pinning her, the force of their collision knocking the wind out of her. She gasped, frantically trying to. .” But the mother cuts him off and she says, “I know, I know, you pissed out a bee bee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, “Mom, mom, I...” And the mother cuts him off and says, “I know, I know, you pissed out a bee bee. It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, “No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle’s butt and asks, “How high up are we?” “About 2,000 feet,” the eagle replies. The mouse replies, “You ain’t sh*ttin’ me, are you?”A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they.
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